today was a good day!

paycheck hit today so it was only natural to hit up some stores. first being barnes and nobles! there was nothing. i went to grab some ARTMS albums and spy x family but they had no ARTMS and all their Spy x Family volumes had some weird damage to them. unfortunate but that's life. i ended up ordering most of them on amazon and it ended up being cheaper on there than it would've been in person (love b&n but what did you expect). decided to run by goodwill too and omg! so much good stuff. they had the first 30 volumes of My Hero Academia there and the first two volumes of Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun which was cool. i didn't pick up either of them BUT i did find a DVD/VCR player for $10!!! which is insane, they go for like 25 bucks. i have some tinkering to do with it (get a remote that works for it, a 4:3 HDMI converter) but it works perfectly and i love it so so much. magnavox too! it had some random VHS in it that was a documentary about Africa as well as a copy of Air Bud lol. here's a pic of it:

slick! i love it.it was manufactured in march 2004 so it's 21 years old. i have another DVD player from that time frame (Samsung) and it's super cool, it has this knob on the front and if you use it, it moves frame by frame or speeds up the movie.it's super cool and worth the 10 bucks i also paid for that. i don't have a pic of it on me and im kinda lazy to look for it but it's cool, trust me. i also picked up a few movies! Jaws, Adaptation and Office Space, Office Space is one of my favorite films of all time so finally owning it is nice, and i never seen the latter films, which sounds kinda weird now that i'm typing it but they look cool so i'm glad to own them.i need to clean my room but it's fine, i might do it tomorrow. i need to start an archiving project, i have one in mind at the moment that i want to do so i might go ahead and do it, but i want to do it with a lot of care, since it involves one of my favorite things. i recently bought a "2000 Questions About Me" book that i thought was interesting. i bought it for the blog so i could have something fun for it, i really like answering the questions in them as they're specific (some of the time). my mind went blank for a few minutes trying to think about what to write... i'm currently listening to The President of The United States of America! i love their first album a lot so i've been relistening. oh! i forgot to mention but i also got this manga called Hi Score Girl because it was cheap, and apparently it's published by Square Enix! that caught me by surprise as i didn't know they published manga, at least in the states. the art was really cool so i decided to pick it up:

so beautiful. i love the solid color background and the art style of the characters. i skimmed through it and it looks awesome, so i can't wait to give it a read. i will say though, the other volumes are kinda expensive, but it's fine. i bought a plush bunny recently and it's cool. it's very soft and it reminds me a lot of laufey and her meimei bunny thing she has, but bunnies in general are cool as hell. i have it in my lap as i'm typing this and it's honestly nice. i named it Jinnie after Heejin from LOONA since her representative animal is a rabbit. i also have a plush named Chuu (wonder who that's named after) that's a penguin, im sure you can connect the dots there. bleh, im so fidgety right now and idk how to calm down so my mind is kinda just jumping all over the place. ive been trying to mellow out more and not really think about what im doing because the happiest i am only comes natural, and not really from what im thinking at the current moment. i think its the best way to live honestly because thinking too much about junk already sucks, just adding on it would make it worse. i need to try living in the moment more though, the more i do the happier and at ease i feel. blah blah blah boring emotional stuff. i'm getting wrapped in stuff to write about and idon't have it in me right now lol so i'm going to cap the post off here, i hope everyone has a great night / day! much love.

0726 ramble

12 am. i sit here with the light of the keyboard illuminating againt my skin as i sit in this chair thats peeling that's supposed to be helping my back, though it's doing the opposite. shivers run down my arm and my teeth clattering as i ponder on what any of this is supposed to mean, to me, to you, to the whole world essentially. the low light beaming through the windows from the lights and the clacking from the keyboard putting my mind at ease as i mindlessly type whatever i'm feeling. the world is full of hate and destruction, yet the corner specified for me tends to put it at ease - no one is reading this, at least to my knowledge, but it makes me wonder about what i could possibly do on this blog. i wish i could stick with ideas, i really do, however it becomes tiring. not even sure why but it just does, maybe i'm a wasted effort that's just throwing it all away for a level of ease that i can achieve elsewhere. all art i make is an extension of me, my mind and what it represents. i wish there was a more cohesive answer to explain why the art i like the most out of all my pieces are the way they are but it mostly just boils down to the visuals. i've always considered myself a visual person, though to what extent is questionable, but even down to the detailed descriptions in my writings, its clear that i have an eye and a knack for this type of junk, and i could not want it any other way to be quite honest with you. i wonder why i like the stuff i do, what draws me in and what keeps me, i still don't know why im into kpop the way i am or why it speaks to me but it makes me really happy - LOONA and ILLIT being the ones to make me the most happiest. i absolutely adore both of them to a crazy extent and i don't know why, unfortunately as a result of this, my love for LE SSERAFIM has seem to dissipate and i wish i can understand why because it just happened overnight, overexposure i guess? i still care about the group but i dont feel that strongly towards them anymore. ughh, its' frustrating. ive been staring at my phone and my keyboard blankly trying to think of something to write, bleh. i love that word, bleh, it's cool isn't it? it portrays the perfect emoji - boredom, at least to me. it expresses your disinterest while sounding like a cool word too, it's amazing! i lov3e that word so much, but i do feel like a teenage girl everytime i use it, which, meh, not the worst thing i guess. look at these cool pictures on my computer

 

 

 

cool right? i think so. i like the kaguya plush a lot, it's very cute and worth the price of 60 since its about a foot tall i think... check this out:

  

it's one of my favorite meals, i have an affinity for the sour nos energy drink since i don't come by it often, but it's worth it. the pizza combos are cool as hell too. i think this photo was taken in.... january? i think. i'm not too sure to be honest but i love the image. i love looking at old photos from months to a year ago, it's just interesting to observe what type of life ive had over the past... i miss loona. i'm listening to butterfly rn and its' like... wowwww, they really did that. makes me think about a lot. reminiscing on the past and whatnot. i try not to think about the past though, and so far im kind of succeeding on that end. the most nostalgia i feel as of late is listening to old loona and thinking "oh yeah that song was really good," i try not to tie music to emotions and i think i've succeeded for the most part, of course i got favorite songs because of memories (kanye's hey mama comes to mind) but overall i listen to music in a semi casual semi focused sense, so most memories of music are "oh that's great" and stuff like that. i often don't remember the first i hear a lot of music, the only real one that stood out to me was LOONA since it was in class, but a lot of music passes me as "oh i heard it and know what that is and i like it" rather than having stand-out memories. i should work on my k-pop playlist, i have to add loossemble and triples but i should be good after that (finally). i have ran out of things to write about tonight, so ill leave this post off with this: loona is cool as hell, don't forget that.

guilt

am i a terrible person? probably not but guilt gets to me. oh well

07.17.25

hi! its been a bit and im sorry for that - nothing  crazy is going on so i dont really know what to write about. i tried getting into sailor moon but kinda backed off when i realized theres like 200+ episodes and i felt that was doing too much, imma read the manga though because it looks cool i really love the art. i gave up on reading toilet-bound hanako-kun though, it had a strong start but the first chapter of volume 3 kinda threw me off and i didn't like it as much. i read chainsaw man instead and WOWWW its amazing. i put the series off at first a few years ago (back when i was still on the old ruby blog) because it was throwing me off but i read it again and ended up finishing the series in like 2 days because of it. its kinda becoming washed but thats because theyre pushing Fujimoto to do this weekly - i get it man i feel bad for him. i love the story a bunch though. not much has happened since then either, i've been floating around working and reading manga. ive been obsessed with kaguya-sama as of late again, i read the official doujinshi and it was really funny - i even bought the Japanese manga! it's showing up sometime next week but im pretty excited for it to arrive. i can't wait to own more stuff from my favorite manga! i wanna get the light novel but theres no English translation, at least an official one, which i also read! great read. its very touching and it almost made me cry, so naturally its up there for me - i should read the chainsaw man light novel! i do own it, might as well read it. fujimoto is one of my favorite mangaka, he's a great writer and his art is amazing. theres so much going on in real life that i feel the need to somehow blend that together with whatever i read or write, which sucks! i wanna have fun reading and interacting with stuff but i always put a limit on it, "oh i'm going to read this much today / going to watch 6 episodes of this” i should go at my own pace!!! agh, im not sure why i do this to myself. i love the stuff i love for a reason and putting a cap on it is so stupid, this has been a problem for me for years now. i often think about the past a lot and how “better” it was but it really hasn't gone any different. i don't really know what to think and do about it because ill keep putting it off until it isn't a problem anymore. real life sucks to think about, it might seem childish to say it but im so over it. hoping the upcoming year and the rest of the month gets better. ive been getting distracted writing since i switched to my phone but i should go through my music library and clean it up some. realized there's a lot of stuff i never got to / lost interest in. KAGUYA!!!! sorry that was out of nowhere but i love this series so much i love the characters and the story and all that jazz. the anime is really good, I finished s1 today and it was a blast, i can't wait to watch the rest of the series and the movies, it looks great. anyways i also started spy x family because it's a strong recommendation on anilist and, yeah i get it! i bought the boxset yesterday and read it and thoroughly enjoyed it. ill continue the series tomorrow but it was great and i can't wait to read more. anya is the goat. i kinda don't know what else to write right now so im gonna leave it off here. hope everyone is well. im off!