back to back !!

sometimes i wonder if theres ever going to be several counts of repetition that goes on during these posts, since all i talk about are things i like and thats... pretty much what my life is at the moment. huh. it's just interesting to think about as it used to be a pretty common occurrence on the old old blog, and even one on the julienet blog. i wonder what i can do to be considered "comfortable" though im not sure when that would be. ideally i would love to live on my own but that's not going to happen for a long time (i miss the old julienet lair) but i should be able to make peace with what i have now right? i think so. but for some reason that's just not clicking to me, though i want that to be the case. i can never seem to find comfort in the ways i truly want to because there feels like there's a current problem, at all times. its really annoying too! bleh, i shouldn't be dumpiong so many emotions into my own little happy place, i feel like that's a disaster waiting to happen down the line. anywho, whats been going on in the world of stolenartvalor... hmmm... i dont know honestly. nothing really crazy, nothing bad though so thats good. just, everyday ol life. for better or worse. i really like spy x family. thats kinda out of nowhere but im thinking about the art style again and its so good. i love the way tatsuya endo draws faces. yor's smiling face is one of my favorite designs ever: 

 

such a good design, of course i like a lot of anya's expressions too, as i feel theyre also a pretty big staple of the series:

 (source)

 

a lot of endo's art is very eye-catching, to me at least. im not really sure what it is specifically but i think its the way he draws characters, their round faces and face structures give a lot of leeway for expressions, which endo does VERY well as shown throughout the manga, even his art for Blade of The Moon Princess is eye-catching in a great way! i really love his art and it alone is one of the biggest draws for his series for me. i really love seeing what other art people have made, for example, my introduction to Aka Hackasaka was Oshi No Ko... however i read Kaguya-Sama: Love Is War and that ended up being my favorite manga! still is! i even own the japanese doujinshis (no, not those kinds...)! theyre cool, theyre the only manga i own in japanese and might end up being my only ones just on virtue that i like reading the copies of manga i have so itd kinda suck if i couldn't, though i do wanna get a japanese set of Goodnight Punpun since the japanese sets are so much cheaper than the full Viz Selects series (that and i just don't like viz selects much) so im looking into it. i have a lot of love and admiration for manga so im glad i collect it and all that jazz. oh i should read dr. slump after i finish the first part of dragon ball since its another series by the same dude (rip btw what a legend) but again, i have so much on my reading list that i dont even know where to start. im more than likely going to keep reading dragon ball until i finish Z since all chapters are 14 pages apparently (that took me by surprise, i figured Z would be much much longer chapter wise). im pretty excited as i said because i love this series a lot so far, absolute classic. i can see why it's highly regarded as much as it is. i honestly might read super after im done too but i might be too tired to read manga much (or i could go insane and read like 100+ chapters in a day for several days in a row... thats what i did with Chainsaw Man)butn again, i don't know. im super into it though so it might be a fast read... i read like 5 volumes of Dragon Ball this morning alone. im hoping to have the series (dragon ball at least) done by monday and for Z to be done by... not sure but i'll probably read it quick. realistically, i could have it done before the month ends (and i probably will), for superrrrr im not too sure but im sure i can get it done before october. ew, the future. i should get a new wardrobe. ive been thinking about it for a bit and i think id be happier if i got new clothes, i want to get a cute bag with accessories on it. i didn't expect to write this much for 2 nights in a row so im gonna head off for the night, it was fun writing! i hope i can take a break lol. im probably going to have another post out before the end of the week but i cant promise anything. seeya! 

monday

i cant wait for this weekend to be over with. i need a monday off every once in a while.

08.09.25

new week new stuff, i think at least. i recently started reading Dragon Ball and its great! i decided to write down a list of what manga to read and what i was interested in (there's 43 titles right now) and Dragon Ball was the most interested so i decided to start there first, im only 3 volumes in but its amazing! i love how the characters interact with their surroundings and each other. its very funny but also very dated but it works really well that way. im super excited to finish it tho! i think after that im going to read.. hm.... let me pick in real time. drumroll please (pretend theres drumrolls here) Mob Psycho 100! i might change my mind but i wanna take a break before returning to DBZ (im scared of its length) but i might read something else shonen jump too. ive been on a shonen jump kick as of late so who knows, i just wanna finish Dragon Ball first though. im glad i started reading manga because wowww it feels semi rewarding when you finish a series, at least to me. its kinda cool to know like... wow i read a lot already. im not particualy interested in all the biggest ones but the list i have right now im pretty happy with. i dont know if i wanna get to the big series yet (large # of chapters, not popularity) but i feel i wont regret it when i do, i really wanna read gantz too so i honestly might read that soon. Dragon Ball Z is tempting but, again, if we count both the original run and Z, that's over 500 chapters and i really don't wanna read that right now. i might honestly start Blade Of The Moon Princess. i'm really into Tatsuya Endo's character designs and i really love the story to Spy X Family so far so i'm definitely interested in seeing what else he's done. i wanna read the light novel and the Four Lives Remain, which is a collection of his works pre Spy x Family. i really love looking at those, i have the two for Chainsaw Man and they're both really great to flip through. i should probably read the full thing at some point lol. yeah im probably going to start Blade of the Moon Princess. wow, i already changed my mind like 4 different times just from writing this post. how convenient. surely i won't change my mind yet again! i think thats the problem, i tend to overthink every little aspect of my life when i should and its killed me (i really need to go to therapy) so many time. so many quick decisions and so many other things because i always choose by what im thinking at the current moment and not in the longrun. i was working earlier today when it just hit me like... i can just read this stuff later. im a 20 year old for god sake, i should be able to read stuff properly and not panic because there's more than one option, and hell, i won't even feel this way tomorrow morning! thats what i hate about overthinking but... eugh forget it. i talk so much about these problems but don't fix any of them, let's talk about what i love but dont talk about! i wrote a post on tumblr not too long ago outlining a lot of the stuff i dont tend to talk about usually but still have a strong love over. it should come to very little surprise that i have a fondness for earthbound, i mean its a pretty funny and cool game, i love how unique it is and how out there it is. i mostly love the art style and the color choices. the brightness of Onett is a clear example of what im talking about because its just SO bright and colorful and it pleases my eyes a bunch. the green grass and the blue water, the sidewalks and building colors.. ooooooh so so good. i haven't played it in a long long time but i dont think i'd have the time for it now, at least to beat it in the manner i want to. there's this youtuber named MonkeyNess that makes AMAZING videos about the game and is what sparked my interest in the franchise again. my favorite video about earthbound he's done is about earthbound's development and cut content because im an absolute sucker for those types of videos. he also does really great videos analyzing the game too and his most recent one about poo and summers is my most favorite. incredibly well done. another thing i love a lot is Yakuza. i just love love LOVE yakuza, it's probably my favorite game series of all time (speaking of which i need to finish Y5 after... 2 years... welp.) and each game is so stunning in their own right. i have a lot of fun memories with the series and i just LOVE exploring every single crevis of each city and interacting. it should come to no surprise that i am quite fond of the karaoke minigame, its my favorite one, and i keep trying to grind baka mitai until i get 1,000 points (im at 990) but i will ge there eventually. talking about this reminds me of winter 2022 for some reason. the games are really, really fun though. wow 2022 was 3 years ago, huh. weird. i also love bowling! it's quite possibly the greatest sport maybe ever. i am absolutely awful at it but it's just so much fun. the 2019 LOONA vlive where they bowled is such a huge inspiration to me that i sat down and watched the full thing. it has got to be one of the most important pieces of art within the last decade. i just get a thrill looking hitting the pins, if a game im playing has a bowling minigame, i grind it heavily (yakuza 5 has one i really like). i really love rhythym games too. ive been playing DJ4D and Taiko a lot lagtely and its just SO MUCH FUNNNNNN. i cant stress it enough. it's fun being in rhythm. the only other thing i can mention right now that i have a strong love of is Japanese movies. some of my favorite movies of all time are Japanese (no surprises) and it kinda shows. some of my favorites are The Happiness Of The Katakuris, House, Love Exposure and Audition. these are all great in one way or another but I prefer comedy musical horror movies so my favorite is Happiness Of The Katakuris. 

second time i fell asleep writing a blog post ughhh. i gotta stop. thankfully i was running out of things to write about so it was probably for the better. hope everyone is doing well!

overslept

i seriously need to come up with a new name for the blog, i mean its a death grips reference but it feels so jarringly different with the blog's tone (which i also need to change the theme for too, this one uses the old one from the julienet blog and those days are over) but i don't know what to name it to! not sure if this is a normal conundrum but it's something ive been thinking about since i started this blog actually. i feel i have a good name in me but i want one that encapsulates something, actually i dont care about that! i want a cool name that's cool! a cool name is what makes it worth it imo. not much has happened in the past 2 days really worth commenting on, but i felt like making a post because why not? i was reading the old old blog and saw i was making a post every few days and i wanted to try that again! maybe not to the extent of those posts because a lot of them were just... long for no reason other than proving to myself i can write a bunch, which i proved that i can i guess. it was kinda lame because i felt like i was just wasting my time making posts just to say i have posts and like,,,, LAME! that's lame. thats super lame. i really love maintaining this blog, i love the process of just writing whatever and also choosing its themes and whatnot. i just changed the theme of the blog and it looks nicer so all i need now is a name... hm.... stolenartvalor? i guess? too lame, thats my online username. ohhh wait, "the blog of the coolest person ever", perfect! its true too, i really am the coolest person ever so i might as well. i should test my words per minute, see how fast i can type on this chromebook that ive been using for my blogs since 2022... wow, 3 years almost and the only problem is the camera stopped working. thats kinda impressive, anyways, my wpm: 78wpm... not bad but its not as good as i want it to be. i wouldve expected a much higher rate because i think the highest i ever gotten on this is a 92. blegh theres so much going on in my brain so let me do this real quick to clear my mind:  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHN AHHHH AHHHH I AM SO STRESSED OUT AND WORRIED FOR NO REAL REASONNNNN I START COLLEGE IN A FEW DAYS AND I HAVEN'T CHECKED ANYTHING LIKE I DON'T KNOW WHEN MY CLASSES START OR WHERE THEY'RE AT AND THATS STRESSING ME OUT LIKE I CANT JUST CHECK I HAVE SO MUCH STUFF ON MY MIND AND I NEED TO GET IT OUT I HATE MODERN SOCIETY I THINK POP CULTURE IS BEING CONTROLLED AND ITS RUINING WHAT LIFE WE HAVE NOW I HAVE TO MOVE SOON AND IDK WHERE IM GOING AND THAT'S STRESSING ME OUT WAY MORE THAN IT SHOULD I HATE MY JOB I HATE TWITTER I HATE EMOTIONS I HATE THAT CREATIVITY NETS YOU NOTHING WORTHY UNLESS YOU'RE LUCKY BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M GOOD AT ART AT LEAST ENOUGH TO TAKE OFF DOING ART FOR OTHERS BUT I HAVE NO LUCK WHATSOEVER IN ANYTHING AND ITS KILLING ME I LOVE MAKING ART THO SO IM GOING TO CONTINUE BUT LIKE COME ON I WANNA MAKE A BAND OR TWO I NEED FREEDOM I NEEEEEDDDDD FREEDOM I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY BUT SO LITTLE WORDS TO SAY THEM ALTHOUGH ALL I DO IS WRITE A BUNCH OF JUNK ON THE INTERNET INTO A VOID AGHHHH AGH AGH AGH I HATE COLLEGE.

okay, better now. at least i think i am. ive been thinking so much about this stuff and haven't gotten out in a tangible way so everything has been getting in the way because ive been thinking too much about it. at least to me thats what it seems like. finally moved over to typing on my phone and this feels much nicer. i can write while laying down which my body needs + listening to the music i want to which is nice, feels much better i guess. i don't know why i never got any of what i written out, or better wording, why i spent so long to have it come out. i kinda wish it wasn't through the blog but i guess it's better than it not coming out at all, so that's one way of thinking about it. i think i need to finish spy x family, I have all the volumes but since LOONA has came back into my life I haven't gotten to it. i think I'll read it tomorrow morning if I have the time, im currently on volume 12. i did read excerpts from the fanbook and it was really cool, i like the concept art shown and the writing was cool, I love seeing art made for apps finally get print and sns drawings also get in too as I think they're pretty important too, that and it's cute seeing them. 

bleh i fell asleep while writing this. surprised i even finished on a cohesive sentence. strongly recommend Sweet Things by Ai Aso, amazing song. that's all for now. see you later!

today was a good day!

paycheck hit today so it was only natural to hit up some stores. first being barnes and nobles! there was nothing. i went to grab some ARTMS albums and spy x family but they had no ARTMS and all their Spy x Family volumes had some weird damage to them. unfortunate but that's life. i ended up ordering most of them on amazon and it ended up being cheaper on there than it would've been in person (love b&n but what did you expect). decided to run by goodwill too and omg! so much good stuff. they had the first 30 volumes of My Hero Academia there and the first two volumes of Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun which was cool. i didn't pick up either of them BUT i did find a DVD/VCR player for $10!!! which is insane, they go for like 25 bucks. i have some tinkering to do with it (get a remote that works for it, a 4:3 HDMI converter) but it works perfectly and i love it so so much. magnavox too! it had some random VHS in it that was a documentary about Africa as well as a copy of Air Bud lol. here's a pic of it:

slick! i love it.it was manufactured in march 2004 so it's 21 years old. i have another DVD player from that time frame (Samsung) and it's super cool, it has this knob on the front and if you use it, it moves frame by frame or speeds up the movie.it's super cool and worth the 10 bucks i also paid for that. i don't have a pic of it on me and im kinda lazy to look for it but it's cool, trust me. i also picked up a few movies! Jaws, Adaptation and Office Space, Office Space is one of my favorite films of all time so finally owning it is nice, and i never seen the latter films, which sounds kinda weird now that i'm typing it but they look cool so i'm glad to own them.i need to clean my room but it's fine, i might do it tomorrow. i need to start an archiving project, i have one in mind at the moment that i want to do so i might go ahead and do it, but i want to do it with a lot of care, since it involves one of my favorite things. i recently bought a "2000 Questions About Me" book that i thought was interesting. i bought it for the blog so i could have something fun for it, i really like answering the questions in them as they're specific (some of the time). my mind went blank for a few minutes trying to think about what to write... i'm currently listening to The President of The United States of America! i love their first album a lot so i've been relistening. oh! i forgot to mention but i also got this manga called Hi Score Girl because it was cheap, and apparently it's published by Square Enix! that caught me by surprise as i didn't know they published manga, at least in the states. the art was really cool so i decided to pick it up:

so beautiful. i love the solid color background and the art style of the characters. i skimmed through it and it looks awesome, so i can't wait to give it a read. i will say though, the other volumes are kinda expensive, but it's fine. i bought a plush bunny recently and it's cool. it's very soft and it reminds me a lot of laufey and her meimei bunny thing she has, but bunnies in general are cool as hell. i have it in my lap as i'm typing this and it's honestly nice. i named it Jinnie after Heejin from LOONA since her representative animal is a rabbit. i also have a plush named Chuu (wonder who that's named after) that's a penguin, im sure you can connect the dots there. bleh, im so fidgety right now and idk how to calm down so my mind is kinda just jumping all over the place. ive been trying to mellow out more and not really think about what im doing because the happiest i am only comes natural, and not really from what im thinking at the current moment. i think its the best way to live honestly because thinking too much about junk already sucks, just adding on it would make it worse. i need to try living in the moment more though, the more i do the happier and at ease i feel. blah blah blah boring emotional stuff. i'm getting wrapped in stuff to write about and idon't have it in me right now lol so i'm going to cap the post off here, i hope everyone has a great night / day! much love.

0726 ramble

12 am. i sit here with the light of the keyboard illuminating againt my skin as i sit in this chair thats peeling that's supposed to be helping my back, though it's doing the opposite. shivers run down my arm and my teeth clattering as i ponder on what any of this is supposed to mean, to me, to you, to the whole world essentially. the low light beaming through the windows from the lights and the clacking from the keyboard putting my mind at ease as i mindlessly type whatever i'm feeling. the world is full of hate and destruction, yet the corner specified for me tends to put it at ease - no one is reading this, at least to my knowledge, but it makes me wonder about what i could possibly do on this blog. i wish i could stick with ideas, i really do, however it becomes tiring. not even sure why but it just does, maybe i'm a wasted effort that's just throwing it all away for a level of ease that i can achieve elsewhere. all art i make is an extension of me, my mind and what it represents. i wish there was a more cohesive answer to explain why the art i like the most out of all my pieces are the way they are but it mostly just boils down to the visuals. i've always considered myself a visual person, though to what extent is questionable, but even down to the detailed descriptions in my writings, its clear that i have an eye and a knack for this type of junk, and i could not want it any other way to be quite honest with you. i wonder why i like the stuff i do, what draws me in and what keeps me, i still don't know why im into kpop the way i am or why it speaks to me but it makes me really happy - LOONA and ILLIT being the ones to make me the most happiest. i absolutely adore both of them to a crazy extent and i don't know why, unfortunately as a result of this, my love for LE SSERAFIM has seem to dissipate and i wish i can understand why because it just happened overnight, overexposure i guess? i still care about the group but i dont feel that strongly towards them anymore. ughh, its' frustrating. ive been staring at my phone and my keyboard blankly trying to think of something to write, bleh. i love that word, bleh, it's cool isn't it? it portrays the perfect emoji - boredom, at least to me. it expresses your disinterest while sounding like a cool word too, it's amazing! i lov3e that word so much, but i do feel like a teenage girl everytime i use it, which, meh, not the worst thing i guess. look at these cool pictures on my computer

 

 

 

cool right? i think so. i like the kaguya plush a lot, it's very cute and worth the price of 60 since its about a foot tall i think... check this out:

  

it's one of my favorite meals, i have an affinity for the sour nos energy drink since i don't come by it often, but it's worth it. the pizza combos are cool as hell too. i think this photo was taken in.... january? i think. i'm not too sure to be honest but i love the image. i love looking at old photos from months to a year ago, it's just interesting to observe what type of life ive had over the past... i miss loona. i'm listening to butterfly rn and its' like... wowwww, they really did that. makes me think about a lot. reminiscing on the past and whatnot. i try not to think about the past though, and so far im kind of succeeding on that end. the most nostalgia i feel as of late is listening to old loona and thinking "oh yeah that song was really good," i try not to tie music to emotions and i think i've succeeded for the most part, of course i got favorite songs because of memories (kanye's hey mama comes to mind) but overall i listen to music in a semi casual semi focused sense, so most memories of music are "oh that's great" and stuff like that. i often don't remember the first i hear a lot of music, the only real one that stood out to me was LOONA since it was in class, but a lot of music passes me as "oh i heard it and know what that is and i like it" rather than having stand-out memories. i should work on my k-pop playlist, i have to add loossemble and triples but i should be good after that (finally). i have ran out of things to write about tonight, so ill leave this post off with this: loona is cool as hell, don't forget that.

guilt

am i a terrible person? probably not but guilt gets to me. oh well